Dear Women of UD,
My deepest sympathy if you, too, did not get your fast track MRS degree during freshman year. Perhaps you even consider the absence of a man in your life as evidence that UD doesn’t have a perfect dating culture. Indeed it does not!
I’d hope, however, that we’re a step ahead of Christendom’s recently recalled anti-interdigitation rule, Franciscan’s 70% female population, and TAC’s problem of accidentally dating cousins…at least not most of you. But I digress. It is true that one should take lifestyle and preferences into account when getting into a relationship. So here you go.
Fellow women of UD, don’t yet give up hope if you have not yet found Your Man on campus. Don’t yet feel the need to download FarmersOnly or Silver Singles while you are surrounded by Catholic, like-minded young men benefiting from the same awesome education that you are.
Sure, shopping the hot aisle at Southern Methodist University and the University of Northern Texas isn’t an issue, but don’t feel like you have no other options. Don’t despair if you’ve reached the ripe old age of 22 and don’t have a ring on your finger.
Yes, ladies, the men at UD are imperfect and so are you, but majoring in English instead of economics, or politics instead of business, doesn’t make you more imperfect. Let’s look at a basic principle in business — soft skills versus hard skills. The strength of a UD education is not that it teaches you how to do taxes or compare interest loan rates. That’s what YouTube is for.
You might not love them, but value the humanities! These courses give you soft skills: the tools to write well, think critically and communicate your ideas — skills that will make you a valued employee in most fields of work. Or they’ll help you craft a whopping good application to a specialized school, making you cultured and well-educated along the way.
Many UD couples do rush into marriage unprepared. So, if you are looking to get married, prepare yourself for your future Partner in Life. How? My hypothesis is to make yourself the most virtuous version of yourself possible.
Do you struggle with patience? Start working on it. Self-control isn’t a strong point? Better try to make it one! Don’t have a good relationship with God or with yourself? Learn to value yourself for who God sees you to be before looking for confirmation of your worth in the eyes of a guy. Do not think that being prepared means that you need to fully know yourself or the world. Growing in both these areas of knowledge is a life-long task, and one that your partner should be willing to tackle with you.
And, ladies: if you’ve failed to notice that many of our most esteemed professors are successful women; worse yet, if you’ve “internalized misogyny,” please do not give up a “traditional and devoutly religious” lifestyle that will supposedly lead you to despair of marriage by May.
Remember that marriage takes three persons: you, the beloved and God — and God should be the Most Beloved in the relationship. Don’t forget to be joyful. Don’t forget to have fun and enjoy your parties — just hit the gym afterwards to make that stomach into the abs of the ideal trophy wife.
In my opinion, Women of UD, here are a few key words that the article failed to mention.
1. Love. You need love. Real, self-sacrificial, willing-to-work-from-the-bottom-up love.
2. Virtue. No, I do not mean being a girl-boss, looking like a model or having a rich boyfriend. If you don’t know what I mean by virtue, take the Core again.
3. God. All on God’s time, ladies, and remember that your self-fulfillment ultimately comes from Him and not from your man.
So, what do you need to make yourself dating material? Humor, love of fun, virtue and God. And those ingredients will catch you an awesome guy, maybe even at UD. Most of them might be taken — this is true — but don’t let that worry you. You only need one.