How many of your resolutions have lasted until February?
I was eight when I first learned about New Year’s Resolutions from a friend. “It’s something you decide you’re doing that year,” she said. I thought this was a cool idea and told her my New Year’s Resolution would be to wear purple in my outfit every day of the whole year—even if it was only my underwear.
She said that New Year’s Resolutions were supposed to be something you wanted to improve about yourself. I said that sounded like less fun than wearing purple every day of the year.
Later, when I asked my mom about this new concept of “New Year’s Resolutions,” I learned that they were infamous for not being kept. I thought that was dumb. Why would someone set a goal and then not keep it? And why did they have to wait till New Year’s to make a change?
Despite my childlike moral certitude, I was in fact a hypocrite. I also set goals I didn’t keep and I felt like I had to wait until the beginning of a new week to start new habits. If I missed the day, I had to wait a whole week again.
So I continued, until one Sunday in Lent when our pastor said in his homily: “If you haven’t had a good Lent so far, start today.” He explained to us that because the devil doesn’t want us to make good changes in our lives, he makes us feel like we have to wait until the timing is perfect. We’ll start our good habits next week, next year… and then we never start. Instead, we should stop waiting for the perfect timing and just start today.
That homily was an eye-opener. My entire life, I had put off making changes until I felt like the timing was right. Especially when I wasn’t staying true to my Lenten resolutions, I would say, “I’ll get better next week.” And then I never did. So I resolved to start changing my habits right away.
However, changing right away is a hard habit to build. As ironic as it is, I found myself saying, “I can start the habit of changing right away later.”
“Later” always becomes “now,” though, and we only have control over what we are doing in the present. In building habits, one has to want to achieve their goal enough to put in the hard work for it. Many times laziness wins because we want the comfort of our bad habits more than we want the future flourishing which will come from good habits.
As someone who has, and continues to, struggle with implementing good habits, here are a few tips on how to make your New Year’s Resolutions (or any other goals) achievable:
Manageable goals. It can be tempting to want to completely overhaul your life. (“new year, new me.”) The sentiments behind your desire for massive change might be good, but it’s a temptation to try to do too much at once because then you won’t stick to any of it. Pick one thing you are going to do and do that one thing. Good fruit will grow in other areas of your life from that one good change.
Hacking self-discipline. Doing things you don’t want to is an important virtue and is necessary in achieving your goals, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make it easier. Think about why you want to achieve this goal and why you believe it’s important. When you have a clear understanding of your “why,” the self-discipline part gets easier.
S.M.A.R.T. goals. Though sometimes referenced “ad nauseam”, the principles of S.M.A.R.T. goals are actually helpful. “Smart” is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-Bound. Though making sure your goals are relevant and achievable really should go without saying, it is helpful to think through the specificity of your goal, how you are measuring your progress towards the goal and what time frame you’re giving yourself to achieve that goal.
Pray. God knows that we are weak and struggle at forming good habits. But He wills our good so deeply that He wants these good habits for us even more than we want them for ourselves! Asking Him for help and asking for the intercession of Our Lady, your Guardian Angel and your patron saints goes a long way as you work towards your goals.
Your New Year’s Resolutions are only a lost cause if you let them be. Begin again today.