What is civility? The Cambridge Dictionary defines it simply as “politeness” or “a polite remark.” Merriam-Webster calls it “a polite act or expression.” But beyond definitions, civility is the quiet virtue that sustains community life, and the grace we extend to one another in the everyday moments that shape our shared experience.
I have often been struck by how genuinely good and beautiful our university is. Whenever I recount our family’s move from Canada to Texas, I find myself expressing deep gratitude for the UD community. Our daughter once told her grandfather that she would choose to live here over Canada because of the “big brothers and big sisters” she has found among UD students (her grandfather, understandably, was not so enthusiastic about that declaration). But her sentiment speaks volumes. The University of Dallas is, indeed, a rare and special place.
Here, civility is not an abstract idea; it is lived. It is present in the smiles exchanged as students pass on the Mall, in the nods of recognition between faculty and staff and in the simple greetings that mark daily life on campus. These gestures are small, yet they form the fabric of a truly civil community.
Recently, however, that fabric was tested. My daughter, seventeen, a high school senior and newly admitted to UD, found an anonymous note left on her car. Its contents left her shaken, hurt and scared. This is not the UD she has come to love in the two years our family has lived on campus. Yes, we live here too, under the same roof of a shared community, with our half-American, half-Canadian flag waving outside our door. We know the joys of this life together and, like all of you, we know its challenges. Midterms are demanding. Sleep can be scarce. But even in the most stressful moments, there is never an excuse for the absence of charity and consideration.
Imagine yourself at seventeen. Something goes wrong, perhaps a car alarm, a noise, an inconvenience beyond your control. And instead of patience or understanding, you are met with anger and contempt. Such moments test our character far more than exams ever could.
Next time you are woken by a car alarm or find yourself frustrated by a neighbor’s mishap, pause before reacting. Call UDPD; they will assist you. And if that does not resolve it, you now know where we live. Knock on our door. We will welcome you gladly and we promise, the conversation will be civil.
Because civility is not just about politeness. It is about remembering our shared humanity, especially when it is most difficult to do so.