Groundhog Guidance: November 8th

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Dear Groundhog,

I have a friend whom I was close to in previous years, however as of late he has grown distant. Any inquiry or conversation I make falls on seemingly deaf ears and he does not make any effort to talk to me. I worry that he doesn’t have many friends and he commutes from a house where he lives alone. To my knowledge, he doesn’t have many friends on campus and does not typically hang around much anyway, save for classes. What can I do for my friend to reconnect and ensure that he is doing well and not squandering his senior year?

Sincerely, Friend of Utility

Dear Friend of Utility,

First of all, you’re a really good friend for noticing this and wanting to reconnect with him. Maybe start by asking to do something together that you guys used to enjoy – whether that’s playing video games, going out to eat, going to the movies or watching a sports game on TV. If you also have plans that you know he also might enjoy, invite him! Sometimes people isolate themselves because they don’t feel welcome to enjoy other people’s company. It’s important to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think about what you would want someone to do for you if you were in the same situation. I hope this helps!

Sincerely, Groundhog


Dear Groundhog,

I am but a humble freshman, who would like advice regarding the word “fish.” I was under the impression that fish was a commonly used term for members of a freshman class, yet the couple of times I’ve used it in conversation, I only get sideways glances. Great Groundhog, what is a poor tuna like myself to do?

Sincerely, Fred the Fish

Dear Fred the Fish,

That’s really funny! I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone refer to freshmen as “fish” around here. It’s mostly “freshie” as a term of endearment and never meant to be condescending. Although, maybe we should consider calling the people who always study in the Fishbowl “fish,” right? Then what would the people who study outside the fishbowl be called? “Fish out of water”? (Also, wouldn’t the Braniff fountain make a really cool koi pond… if the water was purified first?) Let me know what you think!

Sincerely, Groundhog


Dear Groundhog,

Can I bathe in the Braniff Fountain? Dorm showers are soooo small.

Thanks, Mil Arky

Dear Mil Arky,

Unless you want to risk becoming radioactive, no. Please don’t.

Sincerely, Groundhog

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