Women may use pornography more than you think
There seems to be an implicit assumption that surrounds pornography usage and addiction in our culture, especially in Catholic culture. This assumption seems to be that men struggle with pornography and women only struggle with men who struggle with pornography, rather than struggling with it themselves.
While it is true that men view pornography and suffer porn addictions at a higher rate than women, the gap is not as extensive as some people may believe. The surge of pornography usage that occurred when porn exploded onto the internet not only raised the rates of addiction across the board, but also lessened the gap between male and female exposure.
While a study from “The Journal of Sex Research” shows that reports from global porn sites reveal an 80:20 gap between male and female visitors, these numbers do not necessarily reflect the total amount of users, but rather the frequency; the same one male user may be visiting the site at an increased frequency than one female user.
Other studies reporting on porn usage mirror a lessening gap: one study from Stony Brook University found the gap has lessened to 75:30. This study also reported that, when asking about all modes of pornography, 91.5% of men and 60.2% of women within the study reported using pornography within the last month. That is a much lower gap than most would believe.
One notable difference between male and female usage seems to be that men tend towards more consistent pornography usage, while women’s consumption may vary widely week-to-week or month-to-month.
All this to say, the assumption that only men struggle with pornography, and that the woman’s experience extends only as far as the struggles of the men in her life, is damaging on multiple levels.
On one hand, it simply is not true. While men do struggle at a higher rate, women have also become much more vulnerable to porn, especially in recent years. Also, it reveals an implicit, damaging idea that men struggling with pornography is normal, but women struggling with pornography is weird, abnormal, and disturbing.
The reality is lust is an easy sin to fall into, no matter your sex. There’s a reason that the circle of lust is the second circle in both “Inferno” and “Purgatorio” – the vice of lust is so closely related to the virtues of love and intimacy that they are easy to merge and spoil love.
Women, the fight against pornography is not one only fought by men. Women are not simply on the sidelines, cheering men on and supporting them against a vice that threatens only their salvation. While women should most certainly be cheering on and praying for the men in their lives, the fight directly affects us, too.
Do not become complacent or presumptuous about your journey with lust. If you have struggled with pornography, don’t let yourself be crippled by shame. You can fight back. There are resources online, at your parishes, with your priests and even here on campus where you can join A League of Her Own.
Men, please understand that while pornography and addiction to it is more prevalent among men, pornography may not be as alien to women as you think.
Don’t be afraid to discuss pornography with your partner, especially if you’ve struggled with it in the past. Even if she’s never struggled with porn herself, there’s a good chance she’s been more affected by it than you think.